How to monitor kids text messages

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Part 2. How Can I Monitor My Child's Text Messages on Android - FamiSafe

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I understand that some parents believe that because they paid for the phone, they have the right to read their child's text messages, look through their phone call records, social media accounts, and even read their search history. This happened to me last summer. I am male and currently 14, soon to turn They began to look through everything on my laptop computer, my phone, and my iPad.

This took place over a bit under a week. After this finished, and I got my devices back, I noticed a feeling that I kept having. A sense of fear kept coming to me. I was always suspicious that my parents had placed some type of spyware or something to read incoming and out coming messages from my devices. When I was on my computer and an icon briefly popped up on my toolbar only to then disappear I realize now that this is normal , I thought that is was some type of software they had installed to monitor my usage.

It got to the point where I began to think that there were cameras put up in our house to spy on me. I thought that the wifi would send my internet searches to them, and that they would read them.

I thought every electronic device I "owned" was being monitored by my parents. I did not trust them. I found out that what I had developed is paranoia, and while I have learned to suppress it to a large extent, it put me way behind in socializing than I was before they searched my devices. I was well liked and had many friends, but after my parents searched my electronics, I lack basic confidence and communication skills to mantain many relationships. Although it is getting better, I can only imagine what my social life would be if the electronic search simply didn't happen.

So again, parents, please reconsider you decision and approach your child instead of surprising them. I am the adult, I pay for the cel phone and I will check it to ensure that their conduct is appropriate, no perverts are grooming and their "friends" are self governing themselves as well. Don't feed into this "kids privacy" crap the world feeds you!! Through monitoring my kids phones I have observed the following: unsolicited pictures of sexual body part sent to my children, grooming from "older kids", two voice messages from a 45 year old man in California wanting to talk to my daughter because he was "scared" of thunder, unsolicited pictures of drugs other kids were selling and there were some inappropriate things both my kids have been caught sending or viewing cause they are not perfect These are young impressionable children and there are many ways their innocence can be taken.

Phones also keep your child from face to face conversations, thinking before they react, diminishes their time to do other more important things, consumes their life, provides a false reality since everything posted is usually shallow and superficial. Once trust has been developed you can back off from checking all the time to monthly, spot checks. They are the worst thing you can purchase for your child.

Respectfully, I think that kids should have a fair amount of privacy until they do something that causes you to give them less privacy. If you didn't monitor their usage so much, they might have come to ask your advice when they received those inappropriate messages. Controlling their internet so much may have led them to not trust you.

How to Monitor Your Child's Android Device

First of all, you might the reason the 'drama' started. Monitoring your childs phone is just going to make them want to hide things from you. Your children didnt even contribute to anything you wrote. This isnt even their fault, its the fault of others and you're pushing the consequences onto them.

How to Monitor Kid's iPhone,iPad,iPod Touch

They have no space to grow or learn, because you're controlling them so much. Watch as they learn to delete, hide and lock all the apps and content you monitor. Watch them find a way to bypass your control.

How to Monitor Text Messages on Android

Maybe you'll learn how to raise your kids properly. First off, with all due respect, if your kids are exposed to this and didn't talk about it to you, it may be because they didn't trust you. That self-righteous attitude destroys your child's ability to trust you or believe you have their best interests at heart, instead making them act out even more.

A lot of the examples you gave were sent by others and I think you just trust in your child's ability to not participate in them. I think there's such a taboo around inappropriate content and if what they are sending really freaks you out, you should talk to them instead of further cracking down on them. For you, phones may seem superficial, but for them, it is their world. It is how they communicate with friends, meet new people, do work, etc. While social media may be a false reality which is why I deleted all of mine , there are places online where children can really express themselves, like this site and by writing off the entire internet with over 7 billion users as superficial and useless, you cut out a huge part of teen culture and their lives.

It's like if your parents told you that face-to-face conversations are superficial because no one would really tell you how they feel anyways, so you should just stop having conversations with people. My mom spends all of her time on Facebook and my dad is always on his laptop; I don't call that responsible. If you want, you can install malware protectors and stuff but just take a step back and ask yourself if you will ever be able to "trust" your child.

Set guidelines of what you think complete responsibility is and see if those are even achievable. Put yourselves in their shoes and think about more than just your opinion. Perhaps this 'Drama' was because you monitored their phones so closely in the first place? I'm 11 and don't have a phone yet, but I own an iPad and my parents have never looked through what I do. I recommend only looking through their phone if they seem to be doing something suspicious.

Would you like it if you were a kid and your parents gave you no privacy? Don't try to secretly monitor your kid, most teens and preteens are a tad more intelligent than they seem to be. I think if a parent is a good parent then they should have already shown their child how to behave responsibly, how to know dangers or not, and how to not bully people or stand up to one. If you do not trust your children then that is on YOU, not them.

You clearly raised them incorrectly then. I did have some technology very early my parents were very big on new tech. I was raised by people two generations my senior, yet I had total privacy. No searching in my room no snooping in my business, no reading my notebooks with all my secrets in. And certainly I made a few errors as a teen. However, I survived, and got good grades and have an IQ of , and never had a teen pregnancy or any issues because my parents raised my correctly!

I could defend myself as well as sense dangers. You parents MUST trust your children. Teens must have freedom, and I mean a lot of it. They HAVE to learn who they are, and who they are is not just some extension of you and a bunch of rules, they learn by making mistakes.

How Can I Monitor My Child's Text Messages | FamiSafe

They learn by being taught by you. Kids these days will never develop into proper adjusted people if parents do not start butting out again like mine did exactly enough. Also, if a teenager chooses to look at sexual content that is a natural thing. All humans are curious and want to see what sex is. No ne can tell me they did not also do so back then. Why is it that I seem to be the only adult on here with any sense of privacy and trust, who agrees completely with these teenagers?

I was raised with tons of freedom, and I was just fine. I am 41 and I still feel like I am20 inside because I had the freedom to learn exactly who I am. Kids are not stupid, they know right from wrong! Yes I agree with you. Kids should have their own privacy about crushes and their personal life. Unfortunately that will not happen to me. My mom will check my texts and my history and put so many restriction on it.

Our son is getting his first phone at almost 13 and we will monitor its use. If he'd like a diary, fine, I'm happy to get him one and I won't touch it, because that diary isn't a tool to communicate with the outside world and vice versa. It's also a far cry from creating a direct line into your home for people with less than good intentions for your child. How is your son ever going to learn to deal with problems by himself if you keep stepping in? In the end, you're going to start becoming the problem. If it was anyone but you, that would be classified as stalking and would definitely be one of the signs of an abusive relationship.

Your son may end up thinking thats okay if you give him no privacy whatsoever. Have a talk with him, and explain internet safety. I know the risks of being online which is why I'm responsible online. Give him the benefit of doubt. Let him know it's okay to trust you about his feelings and offer to help. If it's just porn I advise that you lecture him and move on. He's going to watch inappropriate content at some point no matter what you do and you need to let him make that choice on his own.

In fact I would encourage. In short, trust your son. If there is mutual trust, your relationship will be a lot better and he is actually less likely to act out. Good luck! Good parenting!! Don't ever let society push you into raising your child against your better judgement! I have posted some information on what took place with my two children and what I did. He Kids, as long as your parents are paying for your food, clothing, schooling AND phone You Don't Have Any Privacy.

There are seriously sick predators out there. There are kids brutally bullying other kids. Even kids encouraging kids to commit suicide! Our job is to Keep You Safe. Try showing a little gratitude for what you have and a little respect for your parents. Your reputation is their reputation. In a few years, as you prepare your college applications, and after that your employment applications, you'll wonder why you ever posted such stupid stuff anyway! What goes around, comes around. Have a great day! I'm sorry, but with utmost respect, that is the most ridiculous and self-righteous things I've ever heard.

I have been brutally bullied and my parent's controls did absolutely nothing to stop it. In fact, being able to go online and talk on sites like this and speak about how I really felt helped. My parents actually made my depression and suicidal thoughts way worse and I resent them so much. Privacy is such a huge part of growing up. You can't just make a decision for your child and expect them to learn from it. Instead, talk to them. For example, if you're checking their social media posts, just ask to follow them.

Don't force them to accept your follow request.


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Just say you want to know them better and ask if they will follow you back too. Make it a family bonding thing, tag eachother in posts, and let everyone know how much you guys love eachother. After all, that will boost that "reputation" you're so worried about. By the way, if anyone is encouraging your child to commit suicide, instead of restricting your child and making it all your child's fault, talk about how to get past bullying and how to deal with it. Let your child know they are loved and understood and really listen to them.

You are the people they look to the most in their lives and they need your acceptance. Block the bullies and report them for abuse. Have a talk with your kid. Just whatever you do, don't let it be your child's fault, they are the victims. You'll only make it worse. You may pay for the phone It voids the warranty. Well, since you pay for it, that means you're paying for a new phone if you brick your kid's phone while jailbreaking it, apple will not help you at all, they will refuse you service.

Also they can buy their own phone on certain carriers, so good luck if you're not paying for it. We will also find ways around your crappy spying techniques. Thank you for spreading the truth and caring more about your child's mind and safety than their "privacy"! Are you trolling? You don't appear to be a parent, so you may not know what's right for a child. Ok first of all, you parents are absolutely stupid.

Because of this, I have many other apps to keep stuff secret etc. I hate that my parents do this and it absolutely pisses me off. It just is very sad how parents are so damn overprotective these days. Your parents shouldn't be on YOUR phone that often. If they really believe in checking your phone which isn't even a good idea in the first place , it should be every once in a while maybe once a month.

If they're on your phone so often, then you won't be able to use it either. Mobile Parenting has become a real thing. I use www. CommonSenseMedia despite what they say, is behind and always will be.

How to Monitor Your Kid’s iPhone Text Messages

Their "texting slang" is stuff people said in like Nobody uses any of that anymore. Snapchat, while the ninja spy thing that kids would use to hide from their parents at one point, is now as commonplace as twitter and new apps are being used. Let's just say that some of our newer apps are better than ghosting a vault app on the 88th page of our phone and putting a 20 digit password on it.

Good luck, nosy parents :D P. My parents have been monitoring all my devices without my consent for a long time and have been doing it in secrecy. To this day, they still think I don't know that they're monitoring me. But, I see why they would do this. Most of the time, teens are afraid of being monitored because they have some texts of being rude or spreading gossip, or they have some arguments with some random person on the internet or in rare cases, they're watching explicit videos, have inappropriate pictures or sexting.

But, there must be limits. First, tell your kid what your doing. Not telling your kid what you're doing can lead to them not trusting you even more and end up them hiding everything from you. Second, do weekly or monthly checks. Checking everyday can make your child think that you don't trust them at all. And finally, be casual about it. Don't yell at your kid, "HEY! I want to see your phone right now! Don't be like my parents and check their phone during the night when they're asleep, they could easily find out and they'd trust you even less. Also, remember to be "light" on the judgement.

If your child does do something wrong, talk with them first. Be patient, even if they brush off your talking. Punishments such as taking away the phone, grounding, or ban on social media should only be handed out if the misbehavior continues or if they do something in the "extreme" area. Hope this helped! I agree with this completely, well said! Avoiding getting the kids a cell phone as long as possible.

They complain that some 3rd graders already have their own. However, most of the 3rd grade parents I've spoken with have come to the same decision re: the cell phone. At some point they'll need cell phones, especially with a million and one practices, games, and meetings going on and I can't be everywhere.

No place seems to have pay phones anymore. There are a few ways that you can monitor your child's facebook account, if you are not friend visit faceves. No one uses Facebook anymore so that's basically useless. Also I think 6th grade is a good age to get them phones and establish boundaries with all forms of internet. NO tv, videos, entertainment content for more than an hour on weekdays and if your grades are suffering, then none at all on weekdays. But don't just force them to abide by those rules. You have to abide by them too. But who do you think your child is going to listen to more.

The random classmate the barely know telling them their "ugly and fat" or the parent telling them "We don't trust you. You have no right to have your own voice and you shouldn't be heard. Your opinion doesn't matter to us and we know we're right because we're older, we're paying, and we're your parents. Around 15 or 16, you need to lay off and let them make their own decisions.

As a year-old, I know what it's like to have intrusive-seeming parents and I also know how they could find out what I'm doing without seeming that way. Talk to your teen about what they should be doing on their social media, phone, etc. Casually ask, what are you up to periodically. Ask to see their social media accounts. Get a social media account yourself and follow your child's account. Being so judgemental and self righteous towards other parents must be exhausting. Many parents don't spend the time and the result is kids that lack attention, discipline, and common sense.

Like I said, I see lots of parents doing their thing, and totally leaving their kids to fend for themselves. These guys www. As a teen who has experienced both sides of the issue; having a parent concerned for myself and being concern for a sibling, I have to say that the lengths you all are willing to go to for such an issue is quite ridiculous. You adults must realize that we, your children ar of a time where technology is as normal to us as riding a bike. I speak from personal experience when I say that we are especially good at getting around the rules.

Another point I would like to make to those adults who have taken the time to read these comments, if you think your child is too young and innocent to recognize the dangers of social media, don't you think perhaps they are too young to have social media. Being internet safe is as much a part of good parenting as being street safe. If your child is unable to recognize what is and is not safe on the internet, it is your fault for not properly educating them as such.

I would also like to discuss simply the invasion of privacy. I'm sure you can all think back to being a young to mid teen, writing all the thoughts you once thought were important into a diary or a notebook. For kids of this time, we dont use journals, rather we share such things with our social media. I can imagine all you parents gasping in horror right about now. But understand that sharing these thoughts provides us with a channel to receive support from peers who we may not have connected with otherwise.

The internet is not a scary place, but to be safe children must be educated just like everything else. Just use parental controls and be done with it. If your child is old enough to have a phone then they are growing up. Monitoring a little is ok, but not tracking there is a difference! I hate stuff like this. This morning, I woke up late but stayed home anyways because I was feeling too sick to go to school. Then she says, "You do know everything you search goes on my phone?

I thought it was because I had snapchat downloaded on my phone for a day, which is only because my friend needed to use it since it wouldn't work on her phone. So I tell my mom, "If it's about snapchat-" She then cuts me off and says that isn't it. She told me her phone sent her a message about me going on youtube watching some sort of sexual videos, that's when my heart beats harder and faster and I'm terrified because I searched no such thing!

She continues saying she's only worried for me and for about 5 minutes, the entire conversation was her asking if it was me or if anyone else had my phone, to me telling her I didn't do it, I'm scared what are you talking about, I swear to GOD it wasn't me! I had to keep my voice down because I was scared my dad would hear, this is all at mind you so being tired didn't help with my nerves. She tells me this is my last chance as if I did something in the first place, and I'm terrified.

What videos were they? Why did she get that message when the only time I ever used youtube was to listen to music or watch some games or cooking videos? But at the same time I had felt relief that she didn't tell my dad, for I knew my dad wouldn't believe me. I try my best to go back to sleep, and wake up and get downstairs at around 2 pm.


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  • She asks me one last time if I did it, with my answers being the same. I didn't do it. She then says my dad and I will talk about it tonight and I felt like I was going to pass out. I rose my voice at her, not because I was mad but scared, asking her why she told? And he won't believe me.

    So I've been spending my time figuring out how to prove it wasn't me that searched up such videos. Then I find this post and it honestly angers me. If your child gives you a reason to check it, ok. But to have an app to spy on them? Hell no. That is such an invasion of privacy and makes you a hypocrite if you tell your children that you trust them. My parents know my password so there's no point spying on them. That's just stupid. I find that excessive monitoring is a tad wrong and invasive.

    Like having something like DyKnow where you can see the child's screen -- my mother is a teacher is just plain wrong. It seems a little creepy. I understand that our parents care about us, but seriously?

    How to monitor iMessages for free now

    Why monitor our every internet movement? But sometimes it is necessary. Like if your child seems secretive and maybe a bit untrustworthy, then maybe that is a good idea. I think you should only monitor if you think something is up or if your child is acting suspicious. But hey, what do I know? I'm just a kid. Nailed it. No one over the age of 18 would listen to me, even after saying that I have no right to fail anything because of my high IQ ironically, I don't believe in IQ tests. Recently, my dad made fun of a show I watch because he thought I was "talking back" all I said was "ok, I'm checking my homework".

    That's how I figured out he was monitoring my computer, and he didn't even bother telling me that he was basically reading through my personal diary every time he opened his computer. My parents monitor my phone, which I find annoying. For many kids, being allowed to use the Messages app on iPhone or iPad is often the first foray into the world of text messaging. Unlike Snapchat or other "self-destructing" messaging apps, many parents feel that the iOS Messages app is a good starting point since, by default, the Messages app does not automatically delete or erase text messages.

    Apple's Messages app is also the messaging format that most parents are familiar with and use themselves on a daily basis. As most parents know, Apple's Messages app allows iOS users to send and receive both regular text messages and iMessages. Messages sent and received in "blue chat bubble" format are iMessages where as messages sent and received with "green chat bubble" formatting are regular text messages.

    Messages app features include the ability to send photos and videos as well as the option to initiate group text message conversations. Apple's Messages app comes default with every iOS device and there is no way to delete the application from the device. The Messages app can also be installed and used on a Mac computer, however today's focus is related the Messages app and its use on both iPhone and iPad. When a child or teen uses uses their iPhone or iPad to send and receive text messages, it can be a challenging task at first for parents to decide on an appropriate and sensitive way to monitor the messages that their kid sends and receives.

    Many parents simply ask their child for their device and the parent then scrolls through multiple contacts and messages while their child waits for them to hand the device back. If there are a lot of messages on the device, this can take a large amount of time, making the process hurried, awkward, and uncomfortable for everyone involved. To avoid this scenario and also to prevent putting their child on the spot, one solution widely used by many parents for monitoring text messages is Decipher TextMessage. The desktop software provides any parent with an unobtrusive way of exporting and managing their child's text messages all from the familiar and convenient setting of their own desktop or laptop computer.

    Download Decipher Text Message. Here's an example of how Decipher TextMessage formats and presents the text message data in the program. Benefits of using Decipher TextMessage to monitor and read your child's iPhone text messages include:. After backing up the device via iTunes , running Decipher TextMessage will read in all of the text messages and save them on the guardian's computer.

    Privacy - All the iPhone text message data saved within Decipher TextMessage is private and local to the computer where the software is installed. The parent is in complete control of the exported text message data and nothing is ever stored online or in the cloud. Ease of Use - Each time the parent backs up their child's iPhone or iPad and runs Decipher TextMessage, the most recent text message history is imported and added on to the existing data that is already saved in the software.

    Furthermore, after backing up the phone, the device can immediately be returned to their child. With the text messages imported and saved in Decipher TextMessage, their no need to scroll through data on the device itself while the child waits for the parent to give them their phone back. A parent can choose to review the text messages at their own leisure. Text messages sent and received via the Messages app remain on the phone indefinitely unless the user chooses to manually delete them or sets up automatic message deletion.

    For many parents, part of the understanding when giving the child the freedom to send and receive iPhone text messages, is the agreement that the child will not delete any messages off their device. In cases where the parent suspects that their child is regularly deleting iPhone text messages, Decipher TextMessage offers the ability to recover whatever deleted text messages are left over in the iTunes backup and that have not been fully overwritten by Apple's iOS.